Grace Alone

Tuesday, Mantha decided to empty all the music out of the piano bench and the organ bench. It was spread everywhere. After stepping over it for a day, I finally got around to picking it up and putting it away. As I did so, I came across a little half sheet of paper entitled "Grace Alone" by Scott Wesley Brown. My Grandmother used to own the organ and would copy little songs like this and hold on to them. She must have done that with this song. Reading the words, I was overcome with tears. This journey has been so much more challenging than I ever would have imagined. Yet, in everything, God has been there. As Saturday approaches, I find myself struggling more and more with what we've been asked to do. I wonder how I'll ever be able to hold that sweet boy in my lap and then let him go one more time. I beg God to deliver our son and let us bring him home. I cry and I hope and I pack, knowing that we go forth in grace alone. Isn't it wonderful how God uses even the "messes" in our lives to speak to our hearts?

Blessings,

Traveling Again

It's been too long since I've posted. A lot has happened and yet nothing has happened. We've been told that there's a very slim chance of our case finishing and that if it does, it will be at least another year. After much prayer, we have scheduled a trip to Guatemala to meet with officials and see what can be done to resurrect our case. We leave this coming Saturday, and will be in-country for a week. Your prayers are greatly appreciated as we take yet another step of faith and follow God's leading, out of our comfort zone once again. I promise to do a better job of blogging while we're there.

We won't be taking Geovany out of the orphanage this time. Returning him to REMAR was too hard on him last time, and we're blessed to be given permission to even visit, as the judge says he doesn't want to raise our hopes or Geovany's. We hope to get to REMAR at least one day, maybe Sunday, to just spend some time with our son and the other kids. I've purchased some of our favorite children's books in Spanish and have been working on learning to read them. Geovany turns 3 the day we fly to Guatemala, so we'll leave the books as his birthday present. Not exactly how I expected to spend his 3rd birthday, but at least we get to be together.

As we've prayed, both Rob and I believe that God is asking us to take this trip. In so many ways, He continues to confirm that this is part of His plan for our family. We don't know what to expect, but we know that God is going with us. In many ways, it's reminiscent of a trip we made almost 2 years ago that started this entire journey. We don't think God is done yet. We have no peace in quitting now. Some may say we're foolish, some may say we're naive, some may think we're just throwing away money. I guess we're past caring what "some" may say and walking in faith, trusting what God is saying. Crazy? Maybe. Comfortable? Not at all. Exciting? Definitely!

Specific prayer requests include:

• Successfully scheduled appointments
• Hearts softened towards our case - PGN officials, minor's court officials and the judge over our case
• Safety for our kids who are staying home with grandparents and strength for Grandma and Grandpa and they care for their four wonderful, energetic grandkids
• Good visit with Geovany, I'm not even sure what that would entail!
• Peace while we're there and as we come home, trusting that we've done what we've been asked to do

Blessings,

My Wish

I've been thinking about this post all day. I know it's been some time since I posted...too long, really. There hasn't been much news to share on Geovany's case. We're no further along than we were before and maybe further away, but that's not what I wanted to write about tonight.

While nothing may be happening with Geovany, God is doing much in my life. I continue to learn more each day about trust and failure and growth that follows when we admit our weakness and curl up in the lap of our merciful Heavenly Father.

Over the last few weeks, we've watched good friends make big decisions regarding their adoption cases. Decisions involving big changes, stepping out in faith, taking risks and trusting. And we've begun to wonder what God is asking of us. Are we once again being pushed out of our comfort zone? Being challenged to take some risk? To experience God in places we never dreamed we'd have to go? I've prayed and cried, hoped and despaired. Wondered if we were done, only to be encouraged, through God's Word. Encouraged to keep going, to not give up, to cling to the hope I have in Him.

This brings me to my wish. I met with God this morning. And what appeared at first to be a regular, everyday morning, was quickly transformed to a mountaintop, awash in God's presence experience. I wasn't searching the scriptures for answers, I wasn't crying out in agony or despair, I wasn't begging God to hear me. I just walked humbly into His presence, coffee in hand and sat down to listen. Opening my Bible study, I read these verses...

Isaiah 42:10-16 -- Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise from the end of the earth, you who go down to the sea, and all that fills it, the coastlands and their inhabitants. Let the desert and its cities lift up their voice, the villages that Kedar inhabits; let the habitants of Sela sing for joy, let them shout from the top of the mountains. Let them give glory to the Lord , and declare his praise in the coastlands. The Lord goes out like a mighty man, like a man of war he stirs up his zeal; he cries out, he shouts aloud, he shows himself mighty against his foes. For a long time I have held my peace; I have kept still and restrained myself; now I will cry out like a woman in labor; I will gasp and pant. I will lay waste mountains and hills, and dry up all their vegetation; I will turn the rivers into islands, and dry up the pools. And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them."

As I read that last verse, it was as if God spoke directly to me. A promise, written thousands of years ago by a prophet of God became a promise for me. I do believe that God is asking us to walk down paths we have not known. To trust that He will bring light to the darkness and level the rough ground. All day long, I've thought about this and thanked God that I didn't miss meeting with Him this morning. Because there have been mornings where I have missed Him. Where I slept in, or talked but didn't listen. Mornings where He had something to say and I didn't stay long enough to hear it.

So, what is my wish? My wish is that each of my friends, would experience this same amazing God-experience. So often, it's easy to skip a quiet time, to find an excuse not to meet with God. To become lazy and complacent, to feast from God's Word only on Sundays and miss meeting with Him during the week. Whether it's rising early or staying up late or turning off the TV during nap time, please, take the opportunity this week to curl up in the lap of God and listen to what He wants to say to you.

Praying for you this week...